Being creative in a succesful world

I have a hard time finding myself sometimes. I catch glimpses of her when I read, or dance or write, but it’s very fleeting.

I don’t remember what I was like when I was a kid. When all I could be was myself. It’s on my mind often, what would I be like if I never learned how I ‘should’ be? What if my creative self was nourished throughout my life, instead of my performative self. What if I was taught to make things instead of succeed?

I really want to find her again, and so that is why I’ve endeavoured on making this webiste and blog. Because this is a platform where I can make and publish stuff that no one will read. At least not for a while, but maybe no one ever will. And I’m teaching myself that I don’t make stuff for others. I know, you’re probably cringing reading this. I’m sure I will too if I ever read this back. So, I won’t.

I’ll put a nice picture of myself with this text and post it. So I am finally actually publishing my stuff without the constant fear of failure or pressure. Because there is no trafic to this site. Who is going to search for window writing when no one knows it exists?

I’ve been putting off writing and creating for years because I’ve been afraid it’s noit going to be good, original or smart enough. I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s exhausting.

So if anyone else other than myself (and maybe my boyfriend Bart), is reading this. You can laugh. But it means that I actually published this to prove to myself that I can simply make things because I want to make them. Not because it has to be done well.

Hasta la vista,

Michou