Chasing peace
I take it way too seriously, every creative thing I want to do. I see the stories online of people my age who started doing anything and blew up with it. Their whole lives changed in an instant. And so whenever I have a creative idea I shoot it down for fear of it blowing up and me not being happy with the quality of it.
What I fail to see is the thousands of people who are trying to blow up with their creative endeavours and not getting the amount of likes or attention they want. Some people don’t even care about being creative, but just about blowing up. I can’t blame them. The society we live in thrives on ‘successful’ people who value money over everything. We need to work so damn hard to be able to afford a simple lifestyle nowadays, of course people chase money in any way possible.
“Money just means spending” is one of Stromae’s lyrics. It feels so superficial to want money. But I want it. It’s not all I want and I certainly won’t do anything just to have it, but I want it. More of it than I have now. And looking down on people won’t help the fact that all they really want is freedom and happiness. We keep chasing happiness and dopamine by spending money. I love spending money. But I’m afraid chasing those feelings will never satisfy us. Will never satisfy me. Maybe peace is the thing we should be chasing. Maybe happiness will come from peace.
But what about challenges and the comfort zone? Isn’t peace just a boring place inside my comfort zone? Without any pushback and growth? Maybe, I don’t know.
I just know that I’ve always heard that happiness is a constant search. It doesn’t stay once you’ve found it. You need to re-find it time and time again. And I don’t want to be chasing happiness my whole life. Just like I don’t want to be chasing more and more money. But maybe peace is something that can stay. Maybe because it isn’t as fleeting as an emotion, but something else.
Emotions are always coming and going. They are never stagnant and shouldn’t be. But constantly chasing the happy emotions can’t be the answer, right? What do you think? Stranger who’s reading this or future me that decided to read my old blog posts. I think I’m going to simmer and stew on this thought a little longer. And try to find peace in every emotion and state of mind I find myself in.
